If you miss someone, does it mean you like them *that* way? And even if it doesn't mean you like them *that* way, should you tell them, even if it may end up being misunderstood?

If you've felt stronger emotions for others who were not worth it, shouldn't you be feeling the same for someone who is? Someone decent and deserving of affection, regardless of shape, size or other people's opinions?

Are those external factors clouding my judgment (although my judgment seems pretty intact--from a rational point of view I should be *feeing* something stronger to eclipse these superficial considerations)? Or worse, are they causing me to over think and therefore hindering my ability to feel?

Or am I just a person drawn to drama? Am I just attracted to guys who will bring me nothing but headaches--simply for the challenge of it?

My head is obviously a mess, due to too much idle time. The good news is, I'm not really feeling awful about this entire thing. In fact, I think I did the right thing by letting him know the minute I had serious doubts about where we were leading.

I am currently also experiencing some withdrawal symptoms, due to the fact that we've been hanging out pretty much every week since we've met. It is unusual for me now that we have no plans for when we'll next be meeting.

But I've got to give him and myself some space. He needs space to digest and accept what has happened, and I need space to do some thinking. For example, is it him I miss or is it just his company and the stuff we do together and the certainty of things? I really don't know.

Anyway, I'm starting to worry about the rats now. Haha. I am hearing strange noises coming from one corner of the room, and I am suspecting it is another rat attack! I hate 'em rats. Even if they can be cute sometimes.